The Lying Game
by hoarfrost-sn
Summary: Tadashi Hamada's life is everything he planned out to be, but one thing seems to be missing. It's not until he starts an uneasy relationship built on conspiracies with the new neighbor, Elsa, that throws his world off balance. She completes him, but here's the catch; all she'll ever tell are lies. {written for a friend}
1. Prologue

warnings: this story contains major character death, self harm, implied sexual content, and dark themes. read at your own risk.

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Prologue

 _People are like dynamites_ , Tadashi remembers his little brother tell him this. He was young, but his huge head was stored with knowledge beyond his own perception it made him more proud that his little brother was gifted with something so beautiful.

People are like dynamites. We are little sticks jam-packed with chemicals. The little things that we collect in ourselves turn explosive, from a painful memory, to a person who's impacted in our lives, to little things who reminds us who we really are is stored inside of us. Until we find the right moment to explode, to let loose and lose full control of everything we hold dear. It could be a perfect moment that sets us off, or maybe there's a time bomb inside of us that ticks away to explode at just the right time. Maybe even a person could set us off.

They say it's beautiful when you reach that exploding point, where everything is just a flicker of bright works of fire and an unspeakable magical moment. Of swirling lights and nitroglycerin mixtures burning fast and scintillating. But it's only a matter of time before you lose your light, before it all flickers away and dies without a trace into the night sky clouded with nothing but the leftovers of a once sizzling fire is seared into the memory of your spectators, the ones who are there to experience your burst.

 _People are like dynamites_ , Hiro said once. _Or maybe even fireworks_.

Tadashi wished people weren't.

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a/n: hi! long time no write/update! this story has been in my head for a while, and I wanted to try writing for this ship. and yes, I'll still try to finish my other stories. this is for you, andrea. I hope you all enjoy.


	2. Chapter 1 - First Meeting

warnings: this story contains major character death, self harm, implied sexual content, and dark themes. read at your own risk.

heads up that this story may contain major ooc of both leading characters at the beginning. anyways, enjoy.

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Chapter 1 – First Meeting

"Hiro?"

…

"Hey, lil' bro. It's been a while. I haven't heard much from you since… then. How long has it been? Too long, I suppose. Too long," dramatic sigh. "I hope you're doing great there with Thiana. Tell her I love her. And I miss you both. So much. Call back."

 _Beep._

Tadashi hung up. He threw the phone across the room.

Feet both planted to the floor of his dormitory, he could feel the loud music pumping and vibrating under his shoes. The party downstairs was loud, even if it was raving three floors down. Even in its faintest volume he could feel a developing migraine in his skull.

Tadashi hunched forward on his desk, hands coming to clasp together with both thumbs rolling over each other. Arms resting atop the clutter of his paper works, he didn't want to think about it too much, he didn't want to stress so much again to the point that he'd overwork himself even with the lightest workload Mr. Callaghan would give him. Hiro always reminded him it was bad for his health.

He snorted to himself. _Bad_.

The word _bad_ tasted foul and metallic on his tongue. Bad was the lone word that described everything about him at that moment.

Nothing really good has ever even happened to him these past few months, and he can't imagine anything good for him in store in the future. He hasn't found the energy to return Aunt Cass worried calls nor go out with his friends on the usual Friday nights. Mr. Callaghan even commented that his works were looking a little dry on the inspirational department, even if his works were one of the best in class.

Tadashi wasn't sure. He was slowly spiraling into a state of depression, a black hole that's eating away every bright light in his life. The last hopeful flickers of happiness that's supposed to erupt in his chest when the perfect timing of a time bomb is supposed to make him explode. But who could blame him? He could be the emo kid if he wanted to. He can hold off any time bomb ticking away inside of him for just another second, he has the every privilege to do so.

And these were just one of the nights Tadashi felt like slipping under the covers of his bed and sleep forever.

Earlier that afternoon, Tadashi had shoved all his notes quickly into his satchel after his last class, knowing that it was Friday and he was a huge target to all of the people he was close to, everyone's number one prey. They've already had countless attempts initiated towards him that had the sole intention of breaking him out of his shell, but lately Tadashi was slipping further into a dark carapace.

It wasn't like Tadashi had tried cheering himself up. He tried to indulge himself in his work even more, tubs of black coffee swirling in his bile stomach in the dead of the night, his body clock more than confused when he would sometimes fall asleep unintentionally on his work at 4 in the morning or because of the sleep deprivation his body was abused with.

He tried to watch movies alone on Saturdays, wrapped in a comforter and easy bake pizzas in the microwave. Half of the movie his mind would drift back on how to program his nurse robot. Not helpful.

And of course, the presence of his friends. His squad was always there for him through thick and thin, especially now that the sadness in his heart was thick and immovable. They've tried to be there for him in everyway and he let them in; but not enough for the black thickness to ebb away.

Tadashi took quick strides to door with his head hung low, not wanting to face anyone and turning down their Friday gimmick offers. But he failed passing through it when Wasabi had blocked it before he could propel himself out of the door.

"Hey, man," Tadashi remembered Wasabi's too kind smile and soft eyes. He felt guilty with the way his friend looked at him with such kindness. And that's the problem. Everyone's been too kind after The Incident.

"Hey," he tried to match the taller man's beaming smile, though his stretched one came out in a sad line, the side of his lips forced into a weak curve. He clutched onto his satchel tighter in an attempt to let his anxiety pour out somewhere else than let it be noticeable in his feigned expression.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come to a party with us tonight?" Wasabi offered, and Tadashi saw his friend's irises move rapidly, as if he was studying him meticulously. From every twitch of his smile, to his whitening knuckles as his grip tightens around his bag unconsciously.

Fred suddenly threw himself between them before he could form a response.

"Come on, man!" Fred pleaded, looking upbeat as usual. Though there was something liquid in his eyes that told him otherwise. "It'll be fun. Treat yourself a little bit more."

Tadashi doesn't remember how he exactly got himself out of that one, but he remembers pulling away from Wasabi's grip on his shoulder and shouldering past them out the door with a sorry of an excuse passing between his lips. The lingering smile on his face soon disappeared as he tried to blend in with the Friday crowd in the halls. He felt himself release a breathe of relief once there was a safe distance between them.

But the freedom his loneliness could give was short lived, especially when he felt a small hand grasp his bicep and pull him back. With a startled yelp, he spun towards the force of the smaller person; back lightly slamming against the white wall but not bone shattering enough to make him scream.

"You. Me. Race off," Gogo, his tinier friend, punched a finger on his chest as she announced this, making him wince. She had a determined expression on her face, and the smacking of her gum seemed to resonate throughout the entire hall. "Come on and woman up. It's a Friday!"

"S-sorry, Gogo," Tadashi dipped his head apologetically in a gesture that she just had to let him go this time. Like all the months before. "I'm sorry."

He doesn't stick around any longer as he runs out the building, his long strides hitting the red square tiles in a staccato rhythm only to slow down when he'd spotted the cherry blossoms. He walked slowly beneath them; chin up as his watchful eye softened as he looked at the season's bearings. A few of the cherry blossoms were scattered on the ground and something about the moment felt like the old days, the good ones.

He fought back the nasty bile in his stomach of nostalgic butterflies and stopped in his tracks. As much as every fiber in his body wanted to fight all the memories off, all the hope, it was there. In his heart. He couldn't peel the thought away.

But before Tadashi could let his thoughts wander back a few times more, a soft voice snapped him out of his trance.

"Tadashi."

Turning, Tadashi caught glimpse of a familiar yellow mane standing behind him. She had that kind smile she always wore even in the toughest situations, but this time her smile wasn't so wide or jubilant like it usually was. It was soft and pitiful, like all the many smiles he's been given for the past few months. And he appreciates that, really.

"Honey, hey," he forced himself to sound like his usual self, but his voice came out strained and artificial. He nervously turned to face her on his feet. "What's up?"

"Oh, you see, I'm trying to pick out mix CD's for the party tonight. I was wondering if you would like to—"

"Honey, no," Tadashi finished for her. Honey's smile faded. "I appreciate what you're all trying to do for me, but I'm not just ready to get out there yet. I'm sorry but I have to go."

Without looking back, Tadashi headed back to his dorm room and tried to stomach the guilt and Honey's gaze that shot icicles on his back. The cherry blossoms were lovely, but he had to stop himself from living in that moment again. His once slow strides turned fast as he practically ran back to his room.

He only stopped when she piped up again.

"We're here for you, you know? You don't have to carry it all on your own."

He didn't look back though.

He just had to go at his own pace. So he went on.

Tadashi slumped further on his seat. What was happening to him? It was a question that was gnawing at him, too. He wasn't himself anymore.

He was a ghost of himself. He was no longer the friend that was the early riser of the group that chirpily woke everyone else with a bullhorn voice. He was no longer the nephew that hung around the café too long when the crowds began to get thick with the usual customers. He was no longer the brother that was inspiring, full of hope and life.

Except now he was this. A hollow shell that was deprived of all joy and guiding light. The aura that followed him was no longer bright, but dark and dingy which he bathed in all it's grim obscurity. When he looks in the mirror, he no longer sees that enthusiastic college boy that's strong and independent, persevering to get this far in his education. That person now just lived in the mirror that looked back at him with hollow eyes; empty that reminded him of how grim reality actually is.

And through the course of the months, his eyes have become bloodshot as he became more addicted into finishing his robotics project, the nursing robot he loved to talk about whenever given the chance to geek out. But so many have happened in less that time had promised, he became even more obsessed with building Baymax as fast as he could, in the best way he could.

Tadashi doesn't know how, but even with the raging music, he was able to hear the rattling of keys somewhere beyond his door. It caught his attention; it was rare that someone would spend a good Friday night indoors of their own dormitory than spend it partying outside. Maybe someone was a sad lump of life like he was.

He knew he shouldn't care, but then Tadashi found himself slowly getting up from his seat and walking away from his desk with long strides. He opened the door slowly.

Across from his room stood a petite woman with platinum blonde hair tied in a loose French braid. He noticed that her blue long sleeved shirt was a little crinkled as she struggled punching the key in the door, and he scanned her for a few more silent seconds before he decidedly stepped out of his own room.

"Hey," Tadashi called.

Swiftly, the blonde woman snapped her head towards his voice. Despite the low budget lights accustomed in the ceilings of the dormitory he resided in, Tadashi noticed the deep-set of blue eyes she had. They were deep and glassy, and for a second, he thought he saw himself in them. Like it was a mirror.

"Oh," the woman's melodic voice started, and Tadashi saw her release a breath of relief when she saw it was just him. He didn't get the chance to observe more of her intriguing eyes as she fumbled slightly on the keys, eyes looking shyly away from him.

"Need any help?" Tadashi asked, seeing how she struggled with the locks.

She looked at the doorknob, then back at him. "Ah, it's just my keys keep jamming in with the locks."

He smiled, a natural one. It had been a long time since he's done that. "It's always like that. The doorknobs around here are a little hard to open, since the locks are pretty rusty," he was saying as he walked towards her, taking the keys from her hands. Their fingers brushed together and he tried to ignore the foreign feeling of her soft touch feather-like soft on his own. "You got to use a little force to get these babies open."

Tadashi demonstrated by shoving the key into the hole, twisting and turning it from every side until there was a distinct click in the air. With a swift intake of breath, he turned the knob and shouldered the door with little effort, which slowly creaked open with his given force.

"Ta-da," he beamed at the girl, who awarded him with a slow clap and a laugh. "Wide and open."

"Thank you," the blonde thanked him with a smile. Tadashi mirrored it. But as they stood there smiling at each other, he noticed something a little off with her expression. Her smile seemed pinched with the way her eyes crinkled above her smile, and how unnatural it looked when her eyebrows came together. Her eyes were a little squinted, but the depths of it were enough to tell him there was something off about this girl.

And then that's where it hit him, he understands his sudden pull towards her. Why she feels oh so important. Because as he looks at her now, looking so weak and frail with her small frame with slightly hunched over shoulders, a gesture that proved that she was no good around people, he suddenly understands.

Her eyes mirrored the same feelings he had: Sadness.

She's sad.

After deducing her for less than a minute, the blonde reached down and hooked her fingers on the plastic of what seemed like a takeout of the Chinese restaurant down the street.

"Well, I guess I should go in now," she offered a sheepish smile, and there was something about her forced emotions that was screaming at him to just go away already. But somewhere deep inside of him, there was a glimmer of thought that was telling him he wanted to stay. That he wanted to push through the walls she's built around her heart the way he was trying to, and he didn't want someone like her to ever go to waste.

She's turning her back against him, turning away turning away turning away.

 _Take a risk, man._

He's taking a risk. He's running after it, trying to clasp it between his work-clad hands. He doesn't want to let any more chances slip away.

"Wait," Tadashi called after her just as she was turning her back to him, stop mid-action. She seized into a halt. "I… there's a party downstairs. Why aren't you attending it?"

He was stalling as his brain methodically worked on a way to make her stay, and she gave him a pointed look over her shoulder. "I'm new here. I don't know anyone yet. And parties aren't really my scene."

Tadashi pondered over this for a short while before bunching his hands in his sweatpants. "Ah, same. Well, it used to be my scene actually. Without the getting high phase and too drunk state, though," he laughed lightly. "And what do you mean you don't know anyone? Hey, you ran into me."

He saw how she considered this, her face unreadable with her tiny nose scrunched up. He then noticed that across her nose was a small splattering of light freckles, as well as under her eyes he surprisingly found considerably cute. "Um, no offense, but I don't really know your name yet."

"Tadashi," he said, before stretching out his hand towards her. She studied his hands for a second, before slowly grasping it in her smaller ones.

"Elsa."

"Nice to meet you, Elsa," he said, liking how the sound of her name rolled off his tongue.

"Charmed," she smiled back faintly. An awkward silence fell between them then.

Shifting his weight on both feet, it took Tadashi ten minutes from the moment he met her to get here to what he was trying to say. "Look, Elsa. I… I really find you attractive," he blurted dumbly and the blonde's eyes grew wide. "You're obviously not a people person, and that's okay. I'm not so sure we're anything alike but the thing is this and I just have to spit this out now. Elsa, I'm not the sort of person that takes things head on. I like to plan my life, I like to plan ahead and think things out meticulously every living second of my life. My life is one big schedule I've planned out, one huge project I'm supposedly going to finish with flying colors. I'm that person."

He heaved a heavy sigh as he pressed on. "And the thing is, these past few months have been hell. And I learned that you can't really plan out every single living second of your life, because if you do, you're just going to get disappointments in the end. And I don't want that anymore. I'm tired of regretting. I'm tired of life's humorless surprises."

"This might sound crazy, but just this once, I want to throw myself out there. I want to live, not just exist anymore. I want that. I want spontaneous. I want crazy. I want different. I want to _feel_ alive."

 _Live a little dangerously._

"I know this is silly to say on a first encounter, but what the hell. Elsa, I think you're gorgeous. Can I kiss you?"

 _A little more lively._

Elsa looked at him, completely baffled as his words processed and ran through her head for a few more seconds. Tadashi was afraid he'd make her run away, that she'd realize that he was a completely sad freak that has no idea what he's doing at this very moment. For once he wanted to shut his overdriven brain and do things without overthinking and messing anything up. That he wasn't himself.

But just when he'd expected a slap across his face or a spat of profanity, she stayed.

 _A little different._

"Yes," she said in a small, almost inaudible voice that was accompanied by a quiver of uncertainty that shook the hall out of its silence, like an earthquake that shook his world. Maybe she needed this casual fling as much as he did, too.

There was something about her small approval that sparked a familiar light in his chest, like someone has lighted a matchstick and was slowly moving it towards the residing dynamite next to his heart. He could feel the beat of his heart rapidly pound against his chest in an unfamiliar feeling, something fast and so foreign yet delightful at the same time he's not so sure what he's really feeling. And that time and space and this entire continuum seemed to slow and graze into a world-shattering halt as he drops all caution to the wind.

He stepped forward, bent his head as he closed the small lingering space between them as he let his breath hitch up his throat. The fireworks in his chest went off at the first chaste touch and of the warmth she gave off, exploding like a star dying into nebula, setting off into the most epic explosion he has ever felt.

And then they were kissing.


	3. Chapter 2 - The Deal

a/n: this update is for Ann. wherever you are now, may you have found peace.

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Chapter 2 – The Deal

Tadashi doesn't exactly remember how it all happened. But he knew it happened fast.

It was how the second their lips touched an explosion triggered inside of him, setting off fireworks. Their kissing started off as something soft and innocent, until there was a gnawing hunger in their stomachs they couldn't hold back from any longer and their kisses became rough and hungry, small hands tugging on the cotton of his shirt, his own cupping her face delicately.

Stumbling backwards to her room, they spent the night tangled in a mess of limbs and heated passion. And after falling back on her bed, everything else went misty with details. All for goodness sake all he knows was that they hooked up.

Tadashi elicited a dreadful moan as he reluctantly cracked his eyes open to the feeling of the warm sun's rays streaming into the crooked room. His muscles felt fatigued, and he released another throaty groan as he turned to his side.

The bed beneath him creaked, and as his brain worked savagely to recall the events that transpired last night and what was before him, his eyes finally shot open.

His eyes locked down on the goddess beside him, the blanket wrapped tightly around her chest. Her breathing is steady and measured as it barely ghosts over his own naked chest, and her minty breath assures him that she's burning with life.

He blushed profusely at the memory of every action and movement done recklessly last night, sending an unfamiliar beating in his heart. It wasn't anything unpleasant, though it felt surprisingly close to how they described bad cheesy high school romances in clichéd young adult books seemed like.

Everything felt completely normal until Tadashi realized he was watching over Elsa like a huge creep, enjoying how the sun filtered over her bare shoulders and gave her hair an ethereal glow, loose from its braids. When she began to shift in her sleep, he tried to shut his eyes and snore, anything to make her not think he was being creepy or anything.

"Good morning to you, too," the blonde chuckled beside him, pinching his cheeks.

"Uh, morning," he blushingly said, giving up his whole act and lying on his back. "How long have you been awake?"

"I'm not sure," she replies, lying on her own back with sheets clutched to her chest.

A long awkward silence followed, Tadashi knew if he was ever wrapped in any kind of situation like this, he should've just grabbed his pants and left to save her the trouble of kicking him out of new apartment. Oh, gosh. They just did _it_ the second she moved in—he was feeling horrible, embarrassed, disgusted, and—

"How long will this relationship last?" she asks out of nowhere.

"Huh?"

"This relationship… us. What is this?"

Was she trying to give him a heart attack?

"Um… a one nightstand?" he replied dumbly. Because it was. It was all lively bodies and no strings attached, an experience that's supposed to be a long faded memory one of these days. But… was she expecting it to be more? Tadashi was never really in a 'friends with benefits' relationship, hell, they weren't even friends. "I… I should just leave. I'm sorry for everything."

Tadashi finally got up to leave, feeling his face burn red the second she started talking. He found his clothes lying haphazardly on the floor and began to clothe himself before rushing out of the room as he swore he never wanted to be seen by this pretty girl again.

"It could be more."

He froze as his hand was already on the knob. He slowly turned back to find her sitting up, still clutching the sheets to her chest, an unfamiliar fire in her eyes that he'd seen flicker from their affair from last night.

"What… what do you mean?" he asks, throat dry.

"This relationship. It could be more than once."

His hand fell from the knob, in vivid shock. "W-what?"

"Do you want to?" She asks, face straight. "I—no. I'm not that type of girl that goes sleeping around, that's a whore, I know. But… I can see that you seem to be going through something rough and… maybe we can have a little fun."

 _Fun_. That's a funny way of phrasing it.

He has no idea what to reply.

"We can set ground rules," she suggested, her knuckles turning white as she clutched her sheets. It makes him think that maybe it's her first time doing this, too.

"Like what?"

"This whole thing… has a catch."

 _A catch?_ He thought, suddenly intrigued. He must've done something funny with his face because she smirked. "What do you mean?"

"We can… start seeing each other, if you'd want. But on one condition," she said, the smirk on her face disappearing. "All I'll ever tell are lies."

"Lies? T-that's… that's…" he trailed, completely baffled. So he could bring her chocolates? A huge teddy bear? Take her out to dinner and treat her like a queen and make this a daily routine in staying in her room only on that condition?

"That's insane," he finished, finding the words. "It's insane."

Her face broke into a wide smile. "Exactly."

He had to catch his breath. Tadashi leaned against the door, watching her for a brief moment. If it meant seeing her like a goddess like that everyday, then yes, he'd do it.

There was something about her. And what they shared last night was not just any ordinary fling. And maybe that's why she's asking him this, because she felt it, too. A relationship built on conspiracies, but he has to find out how further he can take this relationship—whatever he was feeling towards her, in new heights.

"Okay," he agreed, entering into a whole new relationship he'd never expected to be in. He felt himself getting plunged into her, a trap or a safe haven, he has no idea.

"So you're in?"

"Yes."

"I love you."

She was lying.


End file.
